We begin with his early years, simple, uncomplicated, and quaint. The boy grew up in what's considered a normal household. He has a mother, a father, two older sisters, and an older brother. He felt he had a good life. Loving family, friends at school, good grades, and successful in his extracurriculars. He felt happy, but not satisfied.
As he got older, he continued his successful scholastic career, but he still felt something was missing. Compared to his older siblings, he didn't have anyone close to share his happiness with. He realized that what he desired was sometime to spoil, someone to cry to, someone to cherish, someone to love.
He had grown up listening to stories from his father and older brother about their romantic endeavors. He remembered the details of how his brother and father would flirt with ladies and make advances towards them. He made his attempts towards the women of his age, but had no success. He tried and tried, and continued to fail and fail.
He was in his first year of college, and still, had no success in finding a woman to love. He sat down with his father, confused and frustrated because he felt like a failure compared to the rest of his family. He asked his father to tell him what he was doing wrong, how to approach women. His father told the tale of how he and his mother came to be; told with such feeling and passion that his father got emotional telling it.
The boy realized as he listened, he had felt nothing. Despite the beautiful tale his father told, he felt no passion. He thought back to a time when he was playing football in high school, and all the cheerleaders were screaming his praise, many of which tried getting more than just his attention. He remembered being flattered, but not interested in any of the cheerleaders, but instead he felt drawn to a boy who was a fellow classmate. He felt ecstatic that this boy was noticing his abilities. He thought back to other times where he was surrounded by women, but had no interest.
He realized that his feelings towards men have been buried so deep inside. He was trying to impress his father by finding the greatest girl so he buried his feelings so deep that he hadn't realized what they really were. He told his mother that he realized he didn't like women and that he was gay, afraid of what she might say. Despite his fears, she graciously accepted him and give him her full support.
After telling his siblings as well, he began to feel a weight lifted from his shoulders. His feelings that were buried so deep, finally came bubbling to the surface that he broke down in tears in his brother's arms. His brother simply embraced him and whispered "I've known who you are all along. You don't need to bury anything any longer."
After the heartwarming moments between him and his siblings, he prepared to tell his father. Once again, he feared the response of his parent who had raised him to be a different person. The fear of disappointment and loathing overwhelmed him so much, that he buried his feelings deep down once more, not telling his father anything.
Years passed, and because of his fear of the truth, he and his father grew apart. The boy had grown up, gotten a job, a house, and a boyfriend. He had built himself a good life, but buried deep, were the feeling's of secrecy and loss.
He was living with his boyfriend, when he got a call from his mother asking him to come for a family dinner. It would be the first time in years that all four siblings were together with their parents. The boy agreed to come. His mother was overjoyed, and made sure to tell him he could bring anybody he liked.
The boy arrived at his parents' with his boyfriend, and he walked into the house. His father was at the door greeting his siblings, when he looked up and saw him. His father teared up and embraced him in a deep hug, of which he teared up and embraced him back. After the emotional moment, he looked his father in the eyes, reached back, and grabbed his boyfriends hand and pulled him forward to meet him. Without breaking eye-contact with his father, he told him who he is and the truth, again, feeling a large weight lifted from is chest. His father listened, looked at his boyfriend, looked at him, and smiled. "Son, I will love you no matter what. I know you are the same boy a raised." With joy, he embraced his father crying. He finally had everything he ever desired.
Rachel Merchant Queer Theory 2023
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