Paris is (Still) Burning

 

It's Givin Ballroom - 04/13/23

    As a drag-centric performer, I always wanted to get more in touch with the Ballroom aspects of the culture. I only knew lipsyncing, costumes, and reading. But vogueing? Never even knew how to approach learning it. Thankfully, I finally got my chance! The photo above is me at the It's Givin Ballroom event held by the multicultural resource center. I can proudly announce that I know how to vogue, and can even do a dip (death drop, for those fans of RuPaul out there) I'm incredibly lucky to be able to be a part of this community, and hope I can start implementing vogueing into my normal performances.

 What does Queering the norm mean to me?

Queer used to be a bad word used to describe people who didn’t fit in to the box that society put us all in. The box is labeled Normal. If you don’t do things the way society thinks you, should you be placed outside of the box and labeled Queer.  The thing that I am finding out is that Queer is not just people in the LGBTIQ community but for others that may see themselves as heterosexual but do not fit into societies box. I am a heterosexual person that hates sex.  My husband used to think I must be cheating on him because that would be the only reason that I didn’t want sex.  That’s what people do to connect to each other on a deeper level. I don’t want to connect that way. So, I would say that I am queer in a way as well. In fact, if we were to take a deep look at people in society and find out things about others, most would in some way not fit the “norm” description. More people would be queer which I look at as just being different than what is normal in the eyes of society. Maybe being queer is the new normal. We are all strange or have our own troubles ad isn’t that what queer really means?

Existence of Normalcy

    Normalcy is spoken about as gospel in contemporary America. It is the most expected and accepted form of living. Anything outside that normalcy is painted with a black brush, camouflaged into the shadows. After reading Trouble with Normal by Michael Warner, it furthered my belief that those not on one side of the extreme or the other get drowned out. The psychological factors of this tend to be related to the cognitive decision-making processes a person goes through. There are two main factors in decision-making. The first is a person's emotions while the other is society. Emotional factors can be related to a person's internal dialogue and impulses. A minor example would be feeling sad and deciding to have some ice cream to help you feel better. A minor example of a societal factor would be feeling sad and being told to not cry because it looks bad. 

    The relation here is the 'stigmaphile' vs 'stigmaphobe' discussion from the book. Both of these groups experience the influence of these factors in different ways. Warner quotes Erving Goffman to describe these two groups. A stigmaphile is one who joins with others who experience stigma and try to fight against it. A stigmaphobe is someone who conforms to normalcy (the best they can) out of fear of the stigma itself (Warner, p. 43).  Those in the stigmaphile group will most likely be influenced by their emotional factors. They go against society very blatantly. They will be the 'most radical' in their arguments against normalcy. A stigmaphobe is generally more affected by society. They feel pressured to look and act a certain way. The fear they have is more based on the retaliation they may get from the society around them. Both of these views overlap. It is an ever-changing wave between the two. Neither group is inherently wrong. They are both just trying to survive in a world that preaches 'normal', but what even is normal?

    Normalcy looks different to everyone. Warner explains in further depth that normal is not a truly meaningful term. Normal to Jane Doe may not be normal for John Buck. The closest thing to normal would be considered a dynamic family unit, who is white, with two kids, living in an upper-middle-class home. The majority of America is no longer that. A person could use the 'majority' definition of normal, but would it be based solely on one attribute? Normalcy, in essence, doesn't truly exist. Queer people should be able to have risque magazines and informational newspapers existing in the same realms as everything else. Instead of the two extremes fighting against each other, they need to find a common middle ground. This will help create a higher political and social impact in the future. 

Warner, M. (2003). Chapter Two: What's Wrong With Normal. In The trouble with normal: Sex, politics, and the ethics of Queer Life (pp. 41–80). essay, Harvard University Press.

 What is Normal?

Sheri Paulson

The dictionary describes normal as

conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.

serving to establish a standard.

Psychology.

1. approximately average in any psychological trait, as intelligence, personality, or emotional adjustment.
2. free from any mental disorder; sane.

 

 

Who decides what normal is?

 Deciding what is normal is usually based on statistics. A large group of people are tested, and normal is the result 95% of those people show. The number of people that are tested and who these people are will affect the results, so careful consideration needs to be given to these issues. (Who decides what is normal? — Science Learning Hub)

This doesn’t seem right. Where does this large group of people come from?

 

Normal is what society wants us to be, because a large group of people got together, and their set of values placed on a bell curve said that this is what is normal.  What this large group of people fail to capture is the variation in all of us.  Our bodies are all different. What is normal tall and skinny, with blonde hair and blue eyes?  Is it because that is what they truly believe that our bodies should look like or what they want us to look like? How about the way we behave? Is being quiet and shy normal or being outgoing? How about loud and obnoxious? What behavior is normal, and is that normal for every situation you’re in?  Normal changes with the situation, don’t it? Do we show others our true normal side?  I don’t unless I trust you. The thing is, we all put on the “face of normal” because, truth be told that I think that being “abnormal is normal,” diversity is normal, not fitting into the box is normal, and being yourself is normal.  The picture of normality that society places on us is not how most people are.  It’s like we are playing a part in a play, puppets on a string, playing the role that a large group of people told us we must play.  We are conforming to a standard that society has placed on us. We have no say in what role we want to play. For us to be happy and be ourselves, we need to break the mold that they have put on us, break out of the box, and show the large group of people and society that being normal is being a diverse people with differences in bodies, minds, and perceptions and that being normal is being who we are with nothing holding us to the standards that society has placed on us. Dare to step out of the box and be abnormal, and you will find that there is a larger group that are abnormal too.

The day that death came

  The day death came 

***an ode to who we were 

The air was calm and still a cool

The day death came 

The machines in the next room sang a song and it came true,

The day that death came 

We said our goodbyes with hate in our voices 

The day that death came 

Our disdain for each other got the best of our choices

The day that death came 

We honored you the best we could

The day that death came 

We led you to the angels like we should 

The day that death came 

The graveyards were already full

The day that death came 

With all the bodies of who we used to be

The day that death came 

I stepped into heaven on butterflies bloodied ashes,

The day that death came

My feet were cleansed by all the tears shed

The day that death came 

By all the people I used to be

The day that death came 

On Being Queer

I'm a nineteen-year-old gender-non-conforming queer drag queen. 

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What a mouthful.

 

Can you believe it all started with drag? I think that the moment I put on my first wig and extravagant makeup was the first time I realized how much of show femininity was for me. 

My mind was always torn, I only knew the binaries, never the in-between.

And when I found that in between? Lord, I rejected it so fast.

I wanted to be normal, respected, and looked up to by people and I knew that the moment I started being myself it was all over. 

Wait, myself?

At that age, I didn't even know what that meant let alone who I was. I was a sentient mirror walking around practically begging others for validation in mimicking their plights.

I found myself, came to myself crying late one November evening only to be met with that awful realization once again that I was queer. 

It was such a hard pill to swallow, made harder by the looming eyes and chattering tongues of the community around me. 

Their mouths grew quiet when I left.

I found myself, found them on a stage. Found them in a wig and feminine getup, with the freedom to take it off at the end of the day. Found them in loving whoever they chose. Found them, in me.

I'm a nineteen-year-old gender-non-conforming queer drag queen. 

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And I love it.

Stained-Glass

 Hello everyone, the following photos are some of the stained-glass projects I’ve completed. I have created these as commissions, gifts, and as personal projects. If you want to know a little about me, I’m a junior at UW majoring in psychology and working towards two minors, painting and sociology. As for the stained-glass pieces, the first two are quite straightforward but the last one has a story connected to it.

Ally Flag: I created this ally flag as a commission in 2020.

 

LGBTQIA+ Flag: I made this one for myself and am currently making another one as a commission.

 

Unicorn:

I created this stained-glass unicorn during the lockdown in 2020, I was a senior in high school and decided to create gifts for some of the teachers who had supported me the most. This one in particular was a gift for the art teacher. For some context, the small town I grew up in is very conservative, anti-LGBTQIA+, racist, sexist, and so forth. Queer people in this town often struggled. A few people were kicked out of their homes once their family found out and/or were physically beaten. Of course, this wasn’t true for most people, but this happened to some of my friends and classmates.

There were subtle (and not so subtle) signs of welcome in safe places such as homes, classrooms, therapy offices, businesses, and more. I got the idea for this unicorn from my mother. She is a mental health therapist and has subtle rainbow decorations in her office to let people know she’s an ally to the LGBTQIA+ community. This has helped several of her clients. I made a unicorn because at the time unicorns were a running joke in the art classroom, so it blended in nicely. I added a rainbow horn so LGBTQIA+ students would know this was a safe place for them and that they could talk to the teacher if they had any issues with bullying, homelife, etc. I really hoped this would help students.

Unfortunately, after I graduated from high school, the art teacher wasn’t as supportive as he had been in previous years, especially to transgender students. Students started trashing other teachers ally symbols and flags, posters, etc. They were promoting “super straight” and bullying students who didn’t agree. Some teachers left, some tried to support LGBTQIA+ students, and some teachers didn’t do anything, and the art teacher was one of them. His classroom was no longer a safe place. I was really disappointed when I heard about this, it felt like a betrayal.

Part of me wanted to remove the last paragraph because it doesn’t end on a happy note. But unfortunately, it’s the truth. Luckily, he doesn’t have the unicorn hanging in his classroom anymore, so at least students looking for a safe space won’t seek help in his classroom.

If anyone is interested in more of my artworks or would like a commission (coming soon) then visit my Instagram page @artsy_hannahwyos. Thank you for reading 😊.